The sexualization of young girls
One thing that excited me about having daughters rather than sons is the variety of clothes and clothing accessories I could buy for them. Ang babaw, I know. But, really, shopping for them excited me endlessly — and my husband often complained that they would outgrow all the clothes in no time. But I felt that they won’t be children forever.
The thing is, I made sure that they looked like children when they were children rather than miniature adults. I know a lot of moms who dress up their little girls in tiny versions of the latest women fashion and I just feel that, in a way, it is cheating the children of part of their childhood. There will be time enough for them to dress as adults when they become adults, not before.
I am especially bothered by moms who dress up their girls like starlets — heeled sandals, funky belts, fake jewelry, tube tops and mini skirts, black tops and tight jeans. Okay, maybe, it’s really matter of fashion preference. But when I watch the same girls gyrating, with the parents’ encouragement (and matching “Ang galing sumayaw!“), a la Viva Hot Babes or Sexbomb dancers, I can’t help but feel that there is something wrong although I never could come up with a term for it.
Well, someone did. It’s called sexualization.
Sexualization was defined by the [American Psychological Association] task force as occurring when a person’s value comes only from her/his sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics, and when a person is sexually objectified, e.g., made into a thing for another’s sexual use. [Lifesite]
It can lead to a lack of confidence with their bodies, depression and eating disorders.
View the full report.
A huge chunk of sexualization is rooted in media’s representation of women. We can all become part of an advocacy to change media culture or we can start by re-orienting our daughters’ image of themselves.
Girls get this message repeatedly: What matters is how “hot” they look. It plays on TV and across the Internet. You hear it in song lyrics and music videos. You see it in movies, electronic games, and clothing stores. It’s a powerful message.
As parents, you are powerful too. You can teach girls to value themselves for who they are, rather than how they look… ["What Parents Can Do", APA website]
What APA did not mention, and which I think is just as important, is for us mothers to set a good example to our daughters.
A third of what’s been written about me is true, a third is half-true and the rest consists of drug-induced hallucinations. I suppose I’d better let me, rather than them, tell you 
31 responses to "The sexualization of young girls"
I have the same sentiments . Even my own daughters are appalled at the way their little girl cousins attire. Backless, halter , etc. I loved to dress the kids in jumper, or smocks. Ribbons tied to their hair. Very Classic. They are glad I dressed them that way. I think it is a fashion preference of the mother yata. Who else buys their clothes but the mothers? I remember the girls never cared about clothes until their teens.
“I remember the girls never cared about clothes until their teens.”
And, by that time, clothes become part of the expression of their individuality rather than an obsession to emulate, di ba?
hala ka, oo. ewan ko, ms connie, pero sexualisation nga ata ang tawag dun. i agreed yun nga even before i read the article. o baka naman masyado lang sexual akong mag-isip. haha.
at natuwa ako sa pictyur
off-topic– napansin ko di ka nagsusulat ukol sa pulitika. o me na miss kaya ako?
teka, sorry po. nabasa ko nga: The Mommy Journals: family, parenting, marriage….
na miss ko lang ata old blogs mo.
Rowena, about politics… I do. But there’s a separate blog for all that stuff now. The Sassy Lawyer’s Journal.
Hi Connie, I just know what you mean. And I totally blame it on the mother. Those poor little girls are actually living their mother’s fantasies! And get brainwashed about their mothers’ sick idea of beauty. And these mothers actually gloat when people say, “Ang sexy naman ng anak mo!” Sus talaga.
I saw those gyrating little girls to those malaswa pinoys songs at Filipino parties my family attended in NY. I was so disgusted watching their parents proudly showing them off.
You know what else, people blaming celebrities for thier daughter’s influence on fashion. Sometimes I wanna be at their face and tell them, “hellloooo, you’re the parent, you set the rules. I don’t care if she throws a tantrum because she can’t wear a midriff baring top”.
While waiting at a salon with my Mom in the Philippines, one of the workers there had their little daughter running around, around 4 years old. She was wearing a tube top and too short skirt. She played energetically like a little girl would. Since her clothes were too small and ill-fitted, the tube top would slide down and show her nipples, and the skirt would ride up to show her panties and the parent kept asking her to fix herself! I was so disgusted!
I was thinking of the same thing(dressing up kids like mini entertainers in costumes) when I saw a classmate of my daughter in pre-K yesterday. Her classmate was wearing this very low rise pants, short shirt and when the girl bends down, it leaves nothing to the imagination. The child is around 5 years old and her behind is shapely like an adult’s(African decent). I believe that it’s more reason to cover her up with a longer shirt or something. This is the dead of winter, just imagine how they are dressed up during the warm weather months.
It’s also difficult to find kid’s clothes that are non-trendy. So when I find it, I’ll just buy in multiples with different colors. Boring kung boring, my daughter doesn’t mind as long as the shirts have cute things on them.
Connie, I wrote about this topic in my blog (December 30, ‘06) and I entitled it “Eroticized Adolescents”
True, children now look like little adults. My tween daughter doesn’t like to wear those halter tops and shorts, or even mini-skirts. She’d rather wear jeans, shirts and rubber shoes. She hates girly sandals and heeled shoes. She loves to make colorful accessories but doesn’t wear them, she just plans to sell them
My 4yo daughter was given lots of dresses and we sure do use them and I am thankful that the designs are good enough to merit being worn. Good enough meaning not sexy. How fashion preferences have changed, really, but for me, these changes are not for the better.
Ms. Connie - I do share the same sentinments as you because these days, you have to protect your children from predators. Sick as it may seem, we live in a world where pedophiles exist and we (as parents) have to protect them. Dressing children in a provacative clothing just isn’t “cute,” it’s plain old distasteful! Think twice before you send your girls out in backless halter tops or belly-baring tops! We need to instill self-confidence in our girls right from the womb! Looking forward to your next topic…thanks!
when I look at the photos of your two girls, it reminds me so much of the way I cut my girls’ hair. http://aboutmyrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/01/dals1.jpg
I feel uncomfortable too seeing young girls dressing up like grown ups, especially those wearing sexy clothes. It just looks slutty and I feel sick with it. I never dressed up my daughter that way, and now she’s a teen ager, she dresses up somewhat trendy like a normal teenager would, but still very simply.
At saka, bakit kaya may mga magulang, they cheer when they see their young girls gyrating like Sex Bomb dancers? I mean, what’s with them? Hindi ba sila nasasagwaan? Sila pa ang nagtuturo ng ganun sa mga anak nila !!! Sickening.
toink. kaya pala, ms connie.
naiwan pala ako. haha. di bale, hahabol
connie,
God knows how much I would have wanted a baby girl as my first born. Yup, its kinda mababaw, pero nakaka excite talaga kasing bihisan ang mga girls kesa boys. I really envy Moms who shop for pastels, pink and lilac dresses, hairclips, shoes, bags for their cute little princesses. And most of the time when we’re malling, I cannot help but comment on kids much like mini funk adults–complete with mid-rib tops, mini skirt, boots and disturbing accessories. Its so rude of me but I wonder, what kind of fashion taste the Moms of these kids have for choosing these not-so-childrenly clothes.
true, media could have played a big part in portraying women’s sexuality but let us not forget that as parents, it’s our very responsibility to instill values to our children.
Connie,
Your girls are absolutely adorable! I have two nieces, and maybe in a year or two one of my own. I keep telling myself having girls are so much fun because you can dress them in all those dresses with little ponies and smocking.
You hit a point here: I really get taken aback when I see five-year old girls wearing what would normally be reserved for 28 year-old singles out on a man safari. It troubles me to think about what the parents are thinking when they chose those clothes for their kid.
Happy
Dear mothers, it’s nice to know that I AM NOT ALONE.
Carol, Dexie & Rhodora, maybe the “gloating”, “showing off” and “cheer” are related. A lot of mothers see the sexualization of their young daughters as an investment thinking they’d be models, actresses or dancers someday and make tons of money.
Noemi, except for the knee socks… pati clothes, they wore the same style.
Happy, that’s a 10-year-old photo, ha.
They wear T-shirts and jeans mostly these days. They have expensive taste with rubber shoes but then the shoes last for a year or so and they’re real shoes, not ornaments. 
OH, AND, BY THE WAY… the girls’ dresses in the photo… I MADE THEM. hehehehe
i have 3 girls, but never have i dressed them up like dolls. when they grew older, they found their own identities.
your post reminds me of the little girls in the movie “Little Miss Sunshine”. when i was watching the movie, i felt like asking myself, “are these for real?”. i felt they should be in carnivals. but yes, they do exist. it’s a pity, because they are the mothers themselves who dress them up and encourage them. could be that the mothers do it out of their insecurities?
i think by the number of comments- we are all in agreement. let kids be kids. and those parents- i hope they don’t ask why, when things turn back on them….
hot babes and sex bombs? i know i am not missing anything by not having a filipino channel….
i’m totally with you on this one. it’s completely inappropriate to see a shirt that says “sexy goddess” on a 5-year old girl. kids should be dressed appropriately for their age.
p.s. what a sweet, sweet picture of you and your family!
You have a beautiful family.
Hi Connie,
You might be interested in what I wrote:
The Scariest Movie of the Year: Catholic Priest Raping Children
Thank you, and amen! I have a 4-year-old niece always in these halters and mini-skirts, but the bad thing is she acts in the same way - flipping her hair, gyrating out of the blue - medyo atribida and though I don’t want to say it, bata pa ang landi na. Yung mom-in-law ko naman and yung lola niya, lalong ine-encourage. Na-a-annoy talaga ako. I can’t help but be snappy with her when she’s around. Natatakot tuloy ako magkagirl at baka maging ganun ka-kire.
My mom refused to allow me to wear black until I turned 21 (when I started buying my own clothes), saying I should “dress my age.” So as an 80s girl I had to be preppy, not punk. SHe was right.
And you’re right about “sexualization” and I blame it on the strong influence that television has on the Filipino populace. Noontime shows with women in short shorts gyrating in the background does enter into the subconscious of the viewers, especially the uneducated. They start believing think this is the fashion. (We really should do something about ABS-CBN. They just keep the Filipinos stupid and shallow, thus enlarging their market.)
I’ve always been appalled at the “ocho-ocho” or “spaghetti” dances because these are very “suggestive” in nature, which means “sexually suggestive.” And the parents make their little kids dance them. I also cannot stand make up on little kids, because it makes them look unnatural.
Seeing Sam and Alex so long and tall now makes me nostalgic. The last time I saw them in person (the times we went to your house were late at night and they were asleep) they looked exactly like they did in your family photo above. And that’s how I always pictured them in my mind.
How fast time flies! Moms and Dads: enjoy them while they’re still completely yours. In just a few short years they will be giving their hearts away to strangers. The same way you did just a few short years ago …
I, myself, am a teenager going through this very predicament. Although it is exciting and very fun to dress up in clothing that we see on televsion and is identified as stylish by the media, there is also a boundary that exists between the age permition of when to where these types of clothing. Parents should get themselves straight. I haven’t seen much, but what I have is a little disturbing much less disappointing. Children like to be part of the world, which is entirely okay. Though, a childhood should be filled with fun and excitement. No child should grow up saying, “I had a Louis Vouitton at five years old”. That is rediculous and should be unacceptable to parents that want to set a good example. I don’t see how parents find it okay to let their kin, their children, parade around in clothing such as tube tops and mini skirts. They are not adults and they are not teenagers. They are growing children. The future, whether you like that metephor or not. Some of today’s generation might be the leaders of the future. We have to raise them well. And these types of clothing are a big reflection on the impression people get. I wouldn’t want people going around calling my child a “little slut”. Would you?
What a coincidence, I just posted “The Fun Of Having A Daughter” (http://everythingaboutdeye.blogspot.com/2007/07/fun-of-having-daughter.html), then landed here to read some of your old entries, dito ako bumagsak.
Now, talking about the cute sexy dresses, I’m guilty.
Pero siguro kung sa toddler okay lang? Di mahalay? Kasi yun ang mga makikita mo na sa malls. Pero kung dalaginding na, kahit ako di favor sa ganun na parang minamadaling magdalaga.
Napag-isip tuloy ako hehe!
Lisa, now that you’ve seen them again, ang layo na ng itsura ano? LOL
Haley and Mitchteryosa, although there is a distinction between flirty and slutty, there is a context to clothing. The question is WHY does a parent — a mother, especially — dress up a daughter in sexy clothing? What is the intention? A perception that it is cute or an intention to instill in the little girl’s mind that her “worth” as a woman is measured by how “hot” she looks?
Mitchteryosa, there are a lot of children’s stores that still sell non-trendy clothes for young girls. Kahit sa tiangge, meron pa rin.
i could definitely relate on this one. although my daughter is only 4 (turning 5), she’s the girly-girl type, she likes ribbons, headbands, skirts and girly tops, i always make sure that her clothes is fit for her age. i know that there are so many fashionable clothes for young girls nowadays in the mall, but i tell her that she’s too young to wear those flashy outfit!
sometimes i have to stop myself from buying clothes for her, it’s so hard because they’re just so cute.. but iver the years, actually right now, i sort of stop buying clothes, because she has so much, as presents, clothes i bought a few yrs back and im running out of storage space at home!
puro kayo mga mommies.. ako daddy pero i was the happiest in both families when we found out that our first born will be a girl. lahat sila lalake ang gusto.
ang sa akin naman, sa tingin ko mas madaling maka-pick-up ng values ang mga batang babae kaysa lalake. at lalake po ako, bow!
yup. these kids are victimized by their starstruck parents. annoying if you ask me. if you ask kids nowadays what they want to be when they grow up, a great majority of them would say “gusto ko maging sexbomb” to the delight of their proud yet stupid parents. walang kwentang mga magulang
[...] observation that many of the Disney series that target teen and pre-teen girls do have that “sexualization” factor. The heavy make-up, the long tousled hair, the tight shirts and jeans… these [...]
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