Early yesterday morning, Speedy received a text message from his sister, Susan, saying that their mother had been rushed to the hospital and was in ICU. She had a mild heart attack, was out of danger but her vital signs were being monitored. We weren’t able to get too many details until we got to the hospital several hours later.
The utmost question in our mind was what triggered the heart attack. For an 82-year-old, my mother-in-law is in pretty good shape — goes to church most mornings, goes shopping, cooks, goes out with her friends and relatives. She’s no bedridden grandmomma who needs assistance to walk. She’s got full control of her head and limbs. She survived mastectomy about ten years ago and is actually doing well.
Speedy’s other sister, Ava, told us the doctor’s initial prognosis. It’s about pollution. The air that my mother-in-law breathes, day in and day out, is too filthy to supply sufficient amounts of oxygen to her brain. Etcetera, etcetera. I’m not good with medical terms but that’s the gist of it.
The peculiar thing about my mother-in-law’s situation is that, under normal circumstances, she should be able to breathe better air. She lives in what used to be a residential area of Quezon City where, until the last decade or so, commercial establishments were nowhere to be found in the neighborhood. But things have rapidly deteriorated.
Sometime during the late 1990s or early 2000s, a Chinese businessman started buying up properties in the neighborhood. He bought the properties on both sides of my mother-in-law’s house. He built a factory on one and a workers’ housing facility on the other. The factory causes a lot of pollution; the housing facility (that’s a polite term, okay? It’s more of a makeshift camp)…, there’s karaoke singing during the day and into the night, the trash from both properties invade the street… You get the picture.
You know how it is with the inexistent zoning laws in Metro Manila. Except for private residential subdivisions, there are no strictly designated residential, commercial and industrial areas. Anything goes. So, although my mother-in-law’s neighborhood used to be an upper middle-class residential area during the 50s and the 60s, today, it is a mish-mash of houses and business establishments.
Of course, we always felt that my mother-in-law and her sister-in-law (they have adjacent houses) were being eased out by this businessman. He wants their property so badly to make the two that he purchased earlier one large contiguous piece of prime real estate. So, he makes life hell for them. Air pollution from one side; noise pollution from the other. Complaints lodged with the barangay went nowhere. “Friendly” cops are frequent “guests” at the businessman’s establishment. Again, you get the picture. I don’t think I need to throw around accusations. We see this kind of shit everyday.
Thing is, if my mother-in-law sells — she can dictate the price (god knows how valuable real estate is in that part of Quezon City) and she doesn’t even have to sell to THAT businessman — she can buy a house in a better neighborhood and still get to keep whatever extra is left from the sale.
Ava suggested that she move in with us. I have no objections — in fact, I was telling Speedy there might be a reason why we chose a house with an extra bedroom. I offered to have the extra bedroom painted red, her favorite color. But my mother-in-law refused. She said she cannot leave the house that was given to her by her parents. Sentimental reasons. Sentimental value.
No one can force her to do anything she doesn’t want to. She has her way of determining what is more important to her. Personally, I’m just happy that we’re moving to a neighborhood that is unlikely to deteriorate as fast, and as badly, as the neighborhood where Speedy grew up. At least, I hope it won’t.
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David T 06.20.08 at 4:29 pm
I’m sorry to hear about your mother-in-law, and certainly what was done (and still being done) to them at their place is despicable, but what was the point of specifying the ethnicity of the businessman in question?
I’m sorry if I take this the wrong way, but it seems to me that the implication is that a) all Chinese businessman/people are like that (which is a gross and egregious generalization), and b) that somehow it’s the fact that he’s CHINESE that’s the underlying cause of his despicable-ness.
As a regular reader of your blog, I’m pretty sure that implication wasn’t your intent, and you’re far from being racist, but it’s just something that really stood out for me, as a Chinese person myself.
The problem is, it’s this kind of passive-aggressive, unintended, racist slip-of-the-tongues that serve to perpetuate wrong and harmful stereotypes as well as tensions between ethnicities well into the 21st century.
Connie Veneracion 06.20.08 at 6:16 pm
“what was the point of specifying the ethnicity of the businessman in question?”
You wouldn’t have reacted in the same manner had I said “Filipino businessman.” You call it specifying; I call it being descriptive.
So, yes, you are taking it the wrong way. And being unnecessarily defensive and touchy.
JMonreal 06.20.08 at 9:52 pm
I have to read this blog a couple of times to get a better understanding of its contents. I don’t think there was an intent to implicate anybody or any ethnicity except perhaps the friendly cops.
Connie Veneracion 06.20.08 at 10:53 pm
And the government, of course LOL for the stupid lack of zoning laws.
Actually, I should be pissed. David is so sure that I did not intend to be racist — that I am not a racist — yet he calls my description a racist slip-of-the-tongue. LOL What irony. What implication! Still, I’d rather not consider it a provocation.
JMonreal 06.21.08 at 4:46 am
I don’t think the statement is racist. You hear and read this kind of description everyday, all over the world.
My father-in-law and cousin-in-law were Chinese businessmen. Both were very successful in their businesses, and they were proud being called Chinese businessmen. People in their community respected them for that.
Connie Veneracion 06.21.08 at 9:19 am
Now you give a good example. Had I said “successful Chinese businessman”, it would have been descriptive. But since I wasn’t praising the Chinese businessman, David calls it a racist slip-of-the-tongue. LOL
BlogusVox 06.21.08 at 1:39 pm
David’s reaction reminds me of another reaction on my comment on another blog.
Nikita 06.21.08 at 1:47 pm
Change focus
Connie - I didn’t get any text; first I’ve heard of this. I hope Tita is better.
My mom is the sister-in-law of Connie’s mother-in-law, and yes, we’ve all complained of the things the Chinese businessman has and is doing. And yes, my mom also can’t think of selling because my late dad (Connie’s mother-in-law’s brother) was also very sentimental about the place, it being given by their parents to them. It’s not just the two lots that bother us, it’s the trucks that are now parked on the street and in the makeshift camp which I guess are the source of the pollution. Their drivers have the habit of warming up these trucks. Last December, it was my mom that got pneumonia because of this.
It’s really a sad state of affairs. The place of my parents’ home is very nicely located; a few minutes walk in different directions and you can get a ride to anywhere in Metro Manila and beyond. But at the end of the street, there are squatters, and the area is really quickly deteriorating.
It’s so sad to be so helpless.
Connie Veneracion 06.21.08 at 2:37 pm
BlogusVox, your link… the blog does not exist anymore.
Nikita, she’s being discharged today. Sorry, ‘di kita na-text. Naloka kami because it was so sudden. I was just on the phone with her two days before that and she sounded fine. She was even kidding about telling Speedy not to bring his collection of “turnilyo” to the new house.
Good that it’s not only me who can attest to the crappy situation in the area. Sobrang sayang because, as you say, the location is so good.
Kotsengkuba 06.21.08 at 4:00 pm
Connie, it’s still working. I followed the suggested link from blogspot (who happened to be mysteriously unblocked by the Great Firewall of China, who happened to have just blocked my blog here for crying out loud), BlogusVox just used more “. Here’s the link.
No further comment
BlogusVox 06.21.08 at 5:11 pm
Sorry Ms. Sassy, typo. Here.
Connie Veneracion 06.21.08 at 5:47 pm
Read it. Hehehe
BlogusVox and Kotsengkuba, now, I recommend that you read comment number 12 in my fish head soup entry in Pinoy Cook.
JuanDelaCruz 06.22.08 at 11:12 am
its ok to bitch.
if you got your own blog,hell - theres a lot more satisfaction.
if it were my grandma, no godless, ruthless, pimping stereotype is out-of-bounds.
let the bitch, bitch.
personally, blogging your precious time, sharing valuable, fiercely colorful insights, in my opinion is, under-appreciated, its effects, impossible to gauge. ty.
BlogusVox 06.22.08 at 1:03 pm
LOL. I bet puti yung commenter who doesn’t even leave the confine of his/her house.
BTW, your ginataang ulo looks delicious. But I prefer tangige’s head. Meaty and a lot more stuff you can “sipsip†from its head. Yum yum yum.
aggie 06.22.08 at 2:24 pm
Hi Connie,
I’m a medical doctor and I just wanted to share my two cents’ worth. Did your mother-in-law have a mild heart attack or a mild stroke (”brain attack”)? The reason I ask is because I want to clarify that there is no correlation between either condition and air pollution. A heart attack or stroke is usually caused by atherosclerosis, i.e. plugging up and hardening of heart and/or brain arteries by cholesterol plaques. Another cause of a stroke is the bursting of arteries in the brain due to hypertension (high blood pressure). Atherosclerosis and hypertension are caused by a combination of diet, genetics and ageing. These conditions are very common in elderly people such as your mother-in-law so it’s not surprising at all that she suffered a heart attack (or stroke). I hope you understand that I didn’t mean to sound too cold and clinical with that statement. Again, I just want to clarify that air pollution doesn’t have anything to do with a heart attack or a stroke. I wish your mother-in-law a speedy recovery!
Connie Veneracion 06.22.08 at 5:13 pm
BlogusVox, that’s my theory too — the guy is not Asian. Fish head is such a delicacy in Asia and most non-Asians are ignorant of the fact.
Aggie, thanks for the information. No, not cold and clinical at all. Objective and scientific is what I’d call it. No, it wasn’t a stroke. Of course, I wasn’t able to talk to the doctor but only got the info from my sister-in-law. But it was pollution related because there was a recommendation that she be placed on oxygen for a couple of hours a day.
Lee 06.23.08 at 8:34 am
This three legged purple giant with a lazy eye (of dubious galactic ethnicity) ransacked our house with his garish neon-bulb tipped three pronged tail.
Nothing wrong with being descriptive…
Nikita 06.23.08 at 8:50 am
No apologies needed.
Hope everything’s well with you despite Frank.
Miguk 06.23.08 at 11:16 am
That is one of the reasons I live in a gated community. Despite the enforced sterility and the lack of creativity in designing your living space, it beats building your dream house somewhere and having a nightmare neighborhood develop around you.
Connie Veneracion 06.23.08 at 11:48 am
In fact, Lee, all my English teachers in the past encouraged it.
Nikita, she’s out of the hospital. And things are looking good.
Miguk, I suppose that’s pretty much why we’ve been such gypsies — there’s that need to keep finding a better neighborhood when the current one starts showing signs of decay.
Den 06.24.08 at 1:42 am
It is perfectly fine to be descriptive. Details are sometimes really necessary.
raqgold 06.24.08 at 4:08 am
we’re thinking of staying in pinas as soon as possible; but you know what, i dont really know where to plant my ‘imported’ family as they would want space, green and accessibility but we are looking and hoping…
anyway, am glad to know your mom in law is better now.
Connie Veneracion 06.24.08 at 7:29 am
Raqgold, where I live is still pretty green and near enough Metro Manila.
Miguk 06.24.08 at 7:54 am
Acutally, as much as I like a house, I think that a condo in one of the nicer areas (Makati, the Fort) is probably the answer…but the prices are ludicrious for what you get.
Lynnet Antonio-Go 06.25.08 at 2:01 am
Hi Connie,
Read about what happened to Auntie Ada from your article and I immediately e-mailed my sister in the Phil. to tell Mom about it. I saw Auntie Ada and Buddy when I went home last year to celebrate our parents 80th bdays (they were born 6 days apart).
Please tell Auntie Ada that her health and well-being is more important than sentimental value. The spare room with the red walls in your new home would be perfect for her.
Please give Auntie Ada my love and that I am praying for her recovery. All the best on your new home, may love, peace and happiness always reign [plus good and healthy foods :)] !
Best regards,
Lynnet Antonio-Go
Vancouver, Canada