When I was in in the third grade, there was a parent who complained that I didn’t deserve the “First Honor” title. According to her, it was her son who should be the First Honor. It’s not the grades. My grades and her son’s side by side, no contest — his grades weren’t better than mine. In fact, his grades were only good enough for the Third Honors. But, according to the parent, my grades in Conduct weren’t good enough (HAHAHAHAHAHA screw her!) so I shouldn’t be an honor student at all. It was a Catholic school and Conduct was a big deal. So, it should be as it was the previous year when her son at the top. The thing is, during the previous year, the teacher-in-charge was also the private tutor of her son. I mean, is that a no-brainer or what?
If the school principal and the third grade teacher-in-charge had allowed themselves to be bullied by that mother, what would have happened to me? The way things turned out, I retained the top spot during the following years and, halfway through my fifth grade, I was promoted to the sixth grade. I graduated a year ahead of that woman’s snotty son, at 11 years old, and with Third Honors despite having spent only half a year in the sixth grade. When I passed them during the recessional at the graduation rites, I smiled as sweetly as I could. They didn’t even congratulate me.
I didn’t mention that to brag. I mentioned it in the hope that the boy and his mother read this blog and remind them of how they tried to ruin me, my future and my self-esteem. Kidding. But it’s no joke when I say that I learned about assholes and bitches much too early in life.
I mentioned it to contextualize the rest of the entry and because it was the first thing that came to mind when I read about an interesting case in Ontario, Canada about a father who started an online petition against the principal of the elementary school that his kid attends. Although there is one specific allegation that, unless properly justified by the principal, can be made out as irresponsible and constitutes abuse of authority, some of the complaints remind me of the mother of my snotty grade school classmate. You can read the allegations and judge for yourself whether they are in fact actionable or whether the acts complained of are within the discretion of the principal by virtue of her authority.
Finished reading the allegations? Okay.
Personally, I think that disallowing the traditional “clap out” (send-off) for the graduating class at the end of the school year is within the principal’s discretion. It’s just tradition, not a mandatory school activity. However, making the kids wait for 15 to 20 minutes before allowing them inside the school, even on cold mornings, seems inconsiderate and neglectful of the children’s welfare. Was there a valid reason for not allowing them inside the school earlier than that?
The problem is that the parents put up the online petition before lodging a formal complaint with the proper authority — the public school board. The school board got pissed and threatened to sue the parents if they didn’t take down the petition. The parents refused (they currently have 132 signatories to the petition) and the petition’s author, Paul MacGregor, a factory worker, is now the defendant in a 100,000 dollar defamation lawsuit. The sad part is that the petition itself does NOT contain anything defamatory. It was the comments of some of the signatories that were objectionable and they had been taken down already.
If things weren’t complicated enough, MacGregor says he posted the petition upon the advise of a school trustee who now refuses to confirm nor deny it. The principal, Susan Reed, refuses to comment. Members of the school board aren’t talking either.
But the drama is thicker than that. Prior to the online petition, there was too much bad blood between some parents and the principal over things like choice of a school mascot, as well as the principal’s approval of a “beer basket” prize for a Grade 7 class to auction off in a fundraiser. It also appears that when Reed disallowed the “clap out”, Paul MacGregor and some parents went to the school and spearheaded the send off in the school grounds anyway. The next day, the police handed him a trespass warning ordering him to stay off school property.
I understand that Susan Reed is the principal of a public elementary school and the parents of the students are all taxpayers. But it seems to me that, with the exception of the go-chill-in-the-bus allegation, the other acts complained of do not really make her an incompetent school administrator — it just so happened that the parents disagreed with her over so many things and preferred someone who did things the way they had always been in the past. You know, tradition — someone who would allow things like the “clap out.”
Some complaints, on the other hand, are objections against a very traditional and conservative educational system. Consider this comment of Annette Jackson, the 77th signatory to the online petition:
I phoned Mrs. Reed with concerns re: my daughters teacher Mr. Prentice. Mr. Prentice has several practices in his classroom that concerned me. One of which concerns me the most is that only students tests/projects with “A” marks are to be hung up in the classroom, I disagree with that wholely, any student who shows a great improvement in their work should have the glory of having their work hung up. Mrs. Reed indicated she would talk to Prentice, to this day, no answer has been given to me and Mr. Prentice continues this practice in his classroom.
I agree with Ms. Jackson but school practices like that don’t change overnight. I wonder if she ever considered the possibility that the parents of the “A” students objected to the idea of not having the excellent work of their kids hung in the classroom exclusively.
I have no love for irresponsible school officials but I know far too many parents who act as though they are in a better position than the principal to decide on school matters. The funny thing is that, in many cases, the position of parents favors only their own children. So we hear about the parent who complains about her kid not getting the lead role in a school play (with matching assertion that her kid deserves the part), or about the kid that didn’t make it to the basketball or football team, or about the kid who should be at the top of the class rather than the classmate who does not deserve the honor.
I’m just wondering if the case against Susan Reed is not a variation of what that mother tried to do when I was in the third grade.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Jon Limjap 11.13.07 at 6:07 pm
If parents really want control, then they should just homeschool.
ladycess 11.13.07 at 6:11 pm
hi connie. kawawa yung classmate mo. his mother must have pressured him to always be the winner, whether or not he deserved it, through high school and college, and the pressure may still be there to this day. baka messed up adult na siya ngayon
.
miss.adventures 11.13.07 at 6:20 pm
hey that happened to me too. the parent of our salutatorian in grade school demanded that i be stripped of my gold medal because i was protestant (even though my grades in conduct were excellent hehe). i studied in a catholic school. thank goodness the sisters were open-minded enough.
Connie Veneracion 11.13.07 at 7:09 pm
Naku, Jon, don’t get me started hehehehe Suffice to say that homeschooled kids don’t always turn out to be emotionally nor mentally balanced.
ladycess, I think he was a Mama’s boy even then. His sisters who studied in the same school were quite okay.
miss.adventures, wow we should build a club — VICTIMS OF BITCHY MAMAS hahahahaha
Jon Limjap 11.13.07 at 7:31 pm
Connie,
Agreed. But I’m starting to get really fickle with the choice of schools I have for CJ, so much so that Melynn and I are seriously, seriously considering it.
Connie Veneracion 11.13.07 at 9:36 pm
Oh, I know you won’t do it for religious reasons so I’m not worried about CJ. LOL
Ting 11.14.07 at 2:04 am
I can understand Susan Reed’s point of not letting the students get inside the school building before 8:45. You see, more often than not, teachers in Canada belong to a union that has a lot of control over its members.
If in the teacher’s contract, the teacher is expected to start working at 8:45, anything before that is extra work that the teacher needs to be compensated for.
Unfortunately, school boards do not have budgets for these extra hours or minutes, otherwise that would mean more taxes to the parents who will not stop complaining of the rising taxes.
So, if kids go inside the building without supervision and something happens to them, who will be responsible for them? If it’s not the teachers, who will? Talk about command responsibility here.
I see a catch 22 situation here and good for Susan Reed for covering her _ss. I am glad the school board is standing behind her.
Pasensiya na. I’ve seen a lot of parents of these kind in my son’s football games who bully the coaches and the referees kaya wala talaga akong sympathy sa taong kagaya nila. Kaya nakikita ko ang erosion ng school system sa Canada dahil sa situations na ganito.
Ting 11.14.07 at 2:19 am
Oh, on the “beer basket” case, what’s wrong with it? schools auction wine bottles too? What’s the difference between beer and wine? As long as the school does not allow minors to bid on the basket, why not?
Ting 11.14.07 at 2:41 am
And that member of the school board who suggested that a petition be done on line? He should know better than that. He doesn’t deserve to be in the school board in the first place if he cannot stand up to what he suggested. My guess is that the bad blood might actually be between the principal and that school board member and he’s using the parents as his pawns. It’s just my guess. As a member of the schoolboard, he’s expected to be neutral and should be part of coming up with good resolutions in an acceptable manner. At least, that’s how they do it in most Canadian institutions.
Connie Veneracion 11.14.07 at 8:37 am
Thank you for that, Ting — straight from someone who has been living in Canada for years.
Like you, I have come across too many parents who make the term “stage mother” seem mild.
Em Dy 11.14.07 at 8:56 pm
My older sister was always in the top 2 of her class. I was among the honorable mentions. Our teachers would always compare us. I was called the less disciplined and less orderly. I would spend my lunchbreaks playing dama with the boys. They told me I could be better if I behaved more like my sister.
Paul MacGregor 11.25.07 at 4:09 am
Parents entrust their greatest assets to a princiapal. They need to be accountable to parents. I believe the ministry should mandate all schools to hold an annual confidence vote on administrative staff by private ballot.
Julie Cook 11.27.07 at 10:07 am
Paul, principals work for the schoolboard and are accountable for the education and well being of their students. Suggesting that they be subjected to a yearly “confidence vote” is ludicrous, especially since you seem to base your judgement on such IMPORTANT matters as a graduation “clap out”, beer prizes, and athletic awards. Do your kids a favour and stop undermining the school’s authority by meddling in such trivial matters.
Ting 11.29.07 at 4:25 am
Here’s another example of parents meddling with their kids’ funtime:
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/toronto/story/2007/11/26/hockey-brawl.html?ref=rss#skip300×250
8-year old kids in a brawl? Where do they get this from? Kids just want to have fun. It’s usually the parents who did not have fun when they were kids who push their kids into situations like this..me thinks.
Connie Veneracion 11.29.07 at 7:57 am
Ting, wow how like a movie except it’s real! I know a mother who pushes her son hard — very hard — to take up basketball to make the dad, an ex-basketball player, happy. The boy would rather dance.
Paul MacGregor 11.29.07 at 8:53 am
Julie, Do you think we would have kinder principals if they knew there was a mechanism in place to remove them ? Shouldn’t principals fear repurcussions for being rude to parents? Its not about a clapout. Its about accountability.
Connie Veneracion 11.29.07 at 9:21 am
“Shouldn’t principals fear repurcussions for being rude to parents?”
Rude is relative. Is a principal rude when she refuses to allow parents to undermine her authority inside the school grounds as when parents show up and insist on a clap-out despite knowing that a rule had been laid down prohibiting it?
OziChris 12.14.07 at 12:24 pm
G’day Connie, Does the endemic corruption in the Philippines extend deep into the education system also? Am I too general and judgemental?
I know this might be a bit off message but I am an avid reader of online Filipino news sites (and your blogs) and would like to know if you can tell me if there are any politicians, political groups including churches etc that are not tainted by corrupt practices?
BTW my Filipino wife and I own property in Makati and we also have a deep and abiding family interest in matters Filipino.
Connie Veneracion 12.14.07 at 4:55 pm
OziChris,
“Does the endemic corruption in the Philippines extend deep into the education system also?”
YES.
I’m sure there are still some individuals out there, politicians and academicians included, but they are too few to make a dent right now. It’s a culture thing. You may want to read a very old entry — The commercialization of Catholic schools in the Philippines.
jane florencio 04.16.08 at 9:52 am
Hi Connie, I’m Jane from Marikina, a housewife and a mother of three. Though I spend most of my time at home taking care of my small kids’ I make sure that I’m updated with what’s happening around by reading ur blogs.
Connie, I dont know you personally but I feel that I can trust you more than anyone else with regards to my problem.I need your advise,please help me.
This is regarding our property in Guadalupe Cebu. We bought this property about 10 years ago when we were still residing in Cebu. In 2001 we move back to Manila.
In 2004, my husband and I decided to build a house on that property and have my brother in Cebu occupy it.
In November of 2007, we went back to Cebu to check the site and we’re surprise to find out that our property was no longer ours. Landco Pacific, developer of Playa Calatagan , hcienda escudero, and alot more big development projects, made our property part of their right of way for their Monteraza project, a residential community which caters to class A people.
We were totally devastatd and it has caused us anxiety and sleepless nights. When I contacted the people from Landco, they gave us an option; a swap deal 1:2 to a narby underdevelop land or purchse it based on zonal value, the zonal value is 3k/sqm. We bought the property 10 yrs back at almost th same rate.
What should we do? Why they are giving us options, when they are the ones who got our property. In the first place we are not selling the property. Arent we be the one who is suppose to ask demands from them or state the price that we want for our property? I’ve been calling them and emailing them, but they dont respond. We have complete authenticated papers Connie.
Hope this letter reach you. God bless you and your family
Connie Veneracion 04.16.08 at 6:54 pm
Jane, if you have the land title in your name, I can refer you to a Cebu-based lawyer that I can vouch for personally.