Okay, this might sound morbid to some but this was one of the “highlights” of my recent illness that is worth writing about. Nothing medical, nothing gory. This is about being prepared, being practical and being one step ahead as much as possible.
My father died from stomach-related problems. He had surgery, was on the way to recovery — was actually up on his feet and on a soft diet — when he suddenly choked and it was Code Blue. He never regained consciousness.
When I was taken ill last week, I sent a text message to my brother. After his initial angry reaction at not having been told earlier (like I knew much earlier), he called up and remarked how these stomach ailments seem to run in the family. He and his wife came later that day and the day after that and he was really the noisiest visitor I had in all those five days that I was in the hospital.
Now, I’m not a morbid person. I’m no hypochondriac either. I don’t dwell on thoughts about death or play out death scenarios inside my head. BUT. But in case something went wrong with my surgery, I didn’t want to leave loose ends.
Between clenched teeth and gasps of breath (I was in so much pain), I asked Speedy to get a piece of paper and pen. I told him that if anything happened to me, I wanted him to know whom to get in touch with so that checks due to me could be issued in his name instead. Poor Speedy really looked bad. I knew he would rather not have talked about those things. But it had to be done. I started enumerating names, login information, e-mail addresses… everything.
My online work had always been all mine. Speedy and I swap stories about our day’s work but the intricacies of life on the internet have never really been his thing so I always skipped those parts. Until that moment when I started telling him about whom to get in touch with, how to change the payee’s name and make sure that checks don’t get lost and forgotten, well, you know…
Speedy paused, choked, and said, “Stop it.” I didn’t. I couldn’t. It had to be done. It was hard, I knew, but it was the smart thing to do.
I am an optimistic person. I never seriously entertained the thought that something could have gone wrong. But there is still that chance, as infinitesimal as it may be, that something could have gone wrong and I could have died. If we were a clairvoyant race, it would be easy. We’d know what needs to be done now and what can be done later. But we’re not Miss Trelawneys, are we?
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Kotsengkuba 06.03.08 at 7:20 pm
ang morbid nga and i don’t want to even think i’ll be in that kind of situation. it’s good to know you’re okay now, and i hope not too much complications.
but since it came from someone who doesn’t even have the slightest sign of optimism, i guess i’ll just have everything listed in one place (as if there’s too much to list) so if i’ll be in that same situation, isang login and password nalang ang kailangan ko ipasulat.
get well soon, you still have too much things to write
JMonreal 06.03.08 at 8:11 pm
I can imagine Speedy’s reaction to what you were telling him, being a sentimental person he is. …
But with today’s modern medicine and science, don’t worry about it now. You are a strong willed woman. Use that power of yours. You can, and you will be back on track. Godspeed!
Connie Veneracion 06.03.08 at 9:19 pm
Reality, Kotsengkuba, hehehe
JMonreal, yah, it wasn’t a life threatening thing really. But it pays to think ahead, right?
greymom 06.03.08 at 10:05 pm
Am glad,ok ka na…I admire your sense of practicality…few people can have the courage to even think straight while they are having so much pain ( I heard sobra daw talaga ang sakit ng GB pain)…get well soon!
Icoy 06.03.08 at 10:31 pm
hello. my mom died of colon cancer in 1988 (was in grade 5 then). yeah, it is morbid but you knew it had to be done. i’m glad you had the will to do it. i wish i could do the same if…
i pray that you have a speedy recovery to whatever ails you.
Jon Limjap 06.03.08 at 11:10 pm
Heh, I remember the stories of insurance agents being turned away because Filipinos had this backward-thinking attitude of saying that getting insurance for life or accident/disability was “asking for it”. Same goes for memorial plans.
Tapos pag nangyari na kung kani-kanino mangungutang at hihingi ng tulong.
We always say “nothing is certain except death and taxes” but we don’t really try to appreciate just how deep that certainty goes. Kudos to you that despite that pain, your levelheadedness still prevailed.
purplegirl 06.03.08 at 11:20 pm
I also think it’s maternal instinct that make us “practical”. Okay, morbid. Me, whenever we travel, I have to tell my mom where everything is — checkbooks, policies, bank accounts, ATM codes, keys to the safe, etc — just in case. She does the same thing.
pinayhekmi 06.04.08 at 12:05 am
Our group of friends wrote a will right before we left on our trip to Italy. I left my set of Buffy DVDs to my brother Jedd.
Yun ang most precious possession ko eh. haha.
Trosp 06.04.08 at 12:24 am
I’ve commented previously in your blog when I was brought to the ER of Perpetual Hospital here in Las Pinas City when one of my lungs collapsed. (I’ve a similar experience with the other lung years before that one when I was abroad). It was a life and death situation but the physician who was attending to my confinement believed that it was just an asthma attack so a nebulizer will be fine for me.
I can’t help but to be amused every time that situation comes into my mind. Take note that it was a life and death situation already. I was really suffering from acute shortage of breath.
What I did was to to instruct my wife to call a police officer from the nearby city hall instead of a priest who can perform the last rite for me. Well, if I will die, I want it to be officially documented, sabi nga sa lawyer’s terminology, before the fact(?).(Putris, mamatay na nga gusto pa talagang documented).
The attending doctor overheard my instruction and that was the only time he granted my request of a lung X-ray and then the minor surgery.
BlogusVox 06.04.08 at 1:24 pm
‘Alang hiya Ms. Sassy. Akala ko magko-compose ka nang poem on how much you love your husband and kids. Yun pala susulat ka nang listahan nang pautang mo. You’re a pramatist to the bone.
On the other hand maganda din yan to put everything in order. Para walang confusion sa huli.
edgar villanueva 06.04.08 at 4:13 pm
connie,When I have an operation years back,I was so worried that something wrong may happen during the operation.Well thank God nothing bad happens except that I told my wife about my secret bank account..ha ha ha..
Connie Veneracion 06.04.08 at 4:22 pm
BlogusVox, hahahaha O di ba? Aba saan nila hahabulin yung mga may utang ano?
Edgar, HAHAHAHAHA, what fear can do to men HAHAHAHA I wasn’t THAT scared. I DIDN’t tell him about the “other” bank account BWAHAHAHAHA
edgar villanueva 06.04.08 at 4:49 pm
connie, that is also what I want to ask you,Baka sinabi mo kung saan iyong secret garden mo,mabisto nila iyong mga tanim mong ube…ha ha ha ha…
KK aka Tina 06.05.08 at 4:13 am
Hi Ate Connie, I’m glad you are OK now. It’s not morbid, you have something to pass along.
Having lost my mom when I was 15, I fear death because I want to be able to take care of my child until she can be on her own.
Applicable ba sa Pilipinas ang Living Revocable Trust?
omski 06.05.08 at 4:06 pm
Yup, Ms. Connie, it is better to be prepared nowadays, we may never know , there are always accidents all around us, esp. those who go to out to work everyday and some sickness suddenly come like a thief in the night…i have a folder with all my information prepared (insurance, bank accounts, retirement funds etc..) my family will need those info in case something happened to me (knock on wood..;-) )
I’m glad you are ok now but you should rest still and minimize the work pressures…speedy recovery.