First, let me quote from a news report:
Researchers studied the effects of fatherhood on the brain of male Marmosets, small tree-dwelling monkeys that spend 70 percent of their time caring for newborns.
The result of all this baby time, according to new research by Princeton University psychologist Yevgenia Kozorovitskiy and her colleagues, is that the nurturing actually boosts the mental activity of the male Marmosets, reported the online edition of Popular Science magazine. [Telugu Portal]
The study isn’t directly related to humans, according to Kozorovitskiy. Ummm, okay. But does the principle apply? In theory, at least. Not just to fathers but to mothers as well. No doubt that parenthood is a tremendous emotional experience. Rewarding or disastrous, depending on how one takes it on. But is it a mentally or intellectually rewarding experience? Does it make one smarter?
I’ve heard the argument too often. Mothers complaining that being in the house 24/7 caring for an infant child results in some kind of intellectual stagnation with no adult to talk and discuss with. I suppose this is especially true for those with active careers prior to motherhood. And I know a number of female bloggers who started their blogs for precisely that reason. They craved intellectual interaction and blogging filled that need.
Perhaps, it’s a matter of definition and appreciation. For sure, learning about one’s child is not the same as learning lessons, say, in the university. An infant may be no good for purposes of political debate. But, see, just like everything in life, parenthood is an experience. And we all learn from experience — any experience, whether good or bad, whether simple or complex — unless we consciously disregard the experience, in which case it may become nothing but a passing thing. In that context, therefore, nurturing infants can be a mentally and intellectually enriching experience.
I can’t even say that only the experience with the firstborn can be the source of knowledge. Some may claim that it is always easier with a second, a third, etc. child because a parent has already learned from the first. But is it, really? Every child is different. Every child, including infants, reacts differently to different stimuli. So, caring for an infant, whether he is a firstborn or otherwise can mean learning new things.
And the opportunity for a parent’s intellectual growth progresses as a child grows older. With my kids, especially my firstborn, the moment she started talking and asking questions, I was obliged to reassess just how much I really knew about things I always claimed I knew like the back of my hand.
If you’ve seen the Disney film “The Kid”, there was a part there when the little boy asked his older alter ego (played by Bruce Willis) why the moon was orange. I mean, most adults would know that the moon looks differently on different nights and on different parts of the month, and that its color appears different from time to time, but do we know why? See, kids ask funny questions. And, sometimes, their questions tell us the glaring truth that we really don’t know much after all.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
FatherFigure 11.06.06 at 8:21 pm
May I add my observation to this blog?
First, being a nurturing parent, being a kind who is close to their offsprings ( in my case I have a son and my wife is carrying another ), is a different high.
I have experienced floating by the clouds when I graduated with Honors ( from the municipal school in the south to my college degree in Diliman ). I also experienced extreme bliss when I got my dream job, drove my first car, traveled far, and so on and so on.
But beingphysically close and metaphorically connected with y 3-year old son - biking ,running, swimming with him - I feel like nirvana clings to me. Lalo na pag kantahan. He can sing Josh Groban and cuppy cake song with ease! And he does it because I am there at his side.
Cheers to fatherhood! No other worldy joy can come close.
Xiao 11.06.06 at 8:37 pm
I don’t think mothers become bobo… I think we just have a different brain “tuning”…
Just would like to share with you an excerpt of what I read from Babycenter.com. It is an interview of Katharine Ellison, author of “The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter”….
Were you afraid your brain would suffer after you had children?
Yes, I was concerned I’d lose my mind to a world of diapers and baby bottles. ….. But sometime later, I read an article about two researchers who discovered that mother rats were smarter — specifically in learning and memory capacity — than rats that never had babies. And it got me thinking maybe there’s more to motherhood than I’d thought.
In what ways did motherhood make you smarter?
I found motherhood tremendously stimulating, like getting a crash course in human nature. I also got much better at time management. Because I’d been a newspaper reporter, I thought I was good with deadlines. But when I had a baby, the deadlines got a lot less flexible. I was forced to manage my days in a whole new way.
Anyone who is interested to read the whole article, I can email it to you.
Connie 11.06.06 at 9:51 pm
Wonderful! Bravo! We gotta propagate our breed, FatherFigure and Xiao.
pinayhekmi 11.07.06 at 2:21 am
I’m back!!!!
I bloghopped a little during the mornings before going to work.
I wanted to bring up a study done recently wherein experts have supposedly found that mothers’ IQ do drop by some points after having a baby. Interesting no? I believe this is only temporary and has a host of physiological factors. As for the long-term, for anybody who doesnt’ cultivate or pursue mental stimulation, their little grey cells will certainly get rusty.
I know of plenty of stay at home moms who still lead c challening lives. They homeschool, they are involved in book clubs, community volunteer work, etc.
Connie 11.07.06 at 3:08 am
Interesting indeed! I wonder if that is related to the change in hormonal balance after the baby is born.
julie 11.07.06 at 8:30 am
Stay-at-home motherhood or working mom. It really depends on how parents, or women-mothers, particularly SAHM, weigh their priorities. If they are bored staying at home looking after the children and managing their household at the same time, they ought to think over what they really like. If they think interaction with others plus raking in a few thousand bucks for household expenses is better that being at home, making sure their children are growing up and being brought up properly, meeting their own standards, they really have to choose. Maybe this is easy for me to say because I can work from home, manage three children and the household without a helper. (I also work from home two days a week and can bring my preschool children with me. When they have to go to school next year, we will have to adjust the way things are right now.) Being in this situation taught me not just about time management, work simplification, being organized. This made me know myself better. I learned too about my children: their strengths, weaknesses, fears, triumphs, and so much more. I may not be the supermom and superteacher at all times but then, somehow, I am able to manage and cope.
There are so many things to do in different ways that will not make life boring. There are also different ways to earn a living while staying at home. It takes creativity, common sense as well as perseverance to do the things we think can help us become better.
Connie 11.12.06 at 3:17 am
I agree, Julie. If a mother has no initiative for learning, she won’t whether she’s at home or outside. All a matter of attitude.
Nicci 11.13.06 at 8:24 am
Child rearing and taking care of a household for me is much more challenging than a regular career. Quite fulfilling too, in a way, depending on how your child will turn out academically and personality wise.
My experience as a mother of 2 teenagers and a toddler helped in maintaining what I have achieved in school years ago. I always get compliments like ” Mommy, always knows the answer better than daddy” and “Because we thought you know everything” (when I ask them why do I always get asked ). Little did they know that sometimes I’m struggling to dig parts of that old knowledge I have learned long time ago.