Yesterday The other day, we were in Greenhills hunting for an iPhone and a Palm Centro AND a Sony Ericsson W960i. We had just stepped off the escalator on the ground floor of Virra Mall and were on our way to the exit to go to Luk Yuen Restaurant. If you’re familiar with the layout of the place, you can picture where we were. I had just made a U-turn from the escalator to the door when a searing pain when through my left shoulder blade. Something dropped from somewhere above and that something hit me.
For a few seconds, I couldn’t move. The pain was really bad. Then, because whatever hit me landed with a clang on the concrete floor, I knew it was something metallic. My first instinct was to look up. Whoever dropped whatever it was must be looking for it and any sane person would have immediately tried to find out if the thing was visible from the upper floor. But no one was looking down. I started searching and found a large bunch of keys in a heavy key ring. I pointed them out to Speedy and asked him to pick them up. A few seconds later, I saw a girl, probably in her late teens or early 20s, looking down from the third floor. I raised my eyebrow at her, waiting for a reaction, waiting for her to claim the keys. Nothing happened.
At that point I was fuming. If you can’t imagine the pain, ask a friend to drop a bunch of metal keys from the third floor with you on the ground floor as the target. Tell him to make sure that the keys hit your shoulder blade.
Okay, it was probably an accident. Question is was it an unavoidable accident? Someone threw the bunch of keys but the intended recipient failed to catch it. People do it all the time. But in a crowded mall, is that a smart thing to do?
In public swimming pools, in the ice skating rink and in such other places where horseplaying can lead to serious injury especially to innocent parties, we often see signs that say horseplaying is not allowed. I really appreciate those signs. In the ice skating rink, especially, when Sam was around 7 and just starting to skate, I always felt my heart was in my throat every time a group of unruly teenagers would skate near her. I hated those teenagers. The boys, especially, who seemed oblivious to the very obvious fact that their idea of fun could seriously hurt other people.
There had been many times when the signs had been insufficient. I have lost count of the instances when Speedy and I had to call the attention of the guard or one of the coaches to tell those teenagers off or get them out of the rink. Sometimes, it worked instantly. At other times, we watched the scowls on the faces of those brats as their attention was called and I can’t even begin to describe the tension while waiting to see if they would comply or make trouble.
Unfortunately, in places like the shopping malls, there are no signs that say horseplaying is not allowed. Almost every time I go to the mall, there is always a group of unruly youngsters who push each other in jest, sometimes, even on the escalators. They slap each other with their heavy shopping bags, they crowd the aisles and think nothing of it when they STOP WALKING as a group so they can all read the message on the cell phone of a companion. There are times when I have been tempted — so sorely tempted — to push them over the ledge. I would probably jump up and down with glee as I watch them topple down — head first — from the fourth floor to the ground floor.
If there’s anything I hate even more, it is parents who allow — encourage even — their young children to run around the aisles as though the place was their personal playground. I want to smack the smiling faces of the parents who look affectionately at their brats as though everyone else should feel as happy and proud — as though the public should consider it a treat to watch those snotty brats running around, bumping into people and just generally being pests.
Am I too intolerant? Have I forgotten what it’s like to be young and to have young children? No, definitely not. I have two teenage daughters and they know how to behave in public places. And even as very young children, they knew how to behave. I know a lot of other kids who know how to be considerate too. In fact, in the mall, not all young children or groups of teenagers are unruly. It’s just that there are good eggs and bad eggs.
Whoever threw the bunch of keys yesterday must have been too afraid to claim it. If you saw the look on my face, you would probably have been afraid too. Nobody likes me when I’m angry; not even my husband and kids who love me very much.
We dropped the keys in a trash can. Intentionally. And with every hope that they would never be found. Even if the owner had been watching and saw us do it, he would have to swim through the lunch time garbage of half eaten food swimming with cigarette butts and all kinds of gooey mess inside the trash can. Screw him. May he get contaminated with all kinds of contagious diseases if he decided to get his keys.
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
rhodora 12.14.07 at 12:41 pm
Kaasar talaga ang mga ganyang kabataaan. It also happened to me one time on the escalator, going down. A bunch of kids behind me were “making batok” to each other, and pushing too. Then one of them lost balance. I got pushed too. Buti na lang puno ang escalator, otherwise, I could have fallen down. And they got a mouthful from me.
Connie Veneracion 12.14.07 at 12:52 pm
Naku, nightmare ko yan when the kids were still small. Na baka matulak sa escalator. And there are those who zigzag their way in escalators. Bwisit, ‘di ba? Sometimes, I think that today’s kids are so deprived of parks and real playgrounds that they have to do their horseplaying in shopping malls, along sidewalks…. GRRRRR
lady cess 12.14.07 at 1:05 pm
ouch! i hope your shoulder is fine now. nakakainis nga yung nangyari sa iyo. irresponsible pa whoever was that person who didnt bother to face you, explain and apologize.
Connie Veneracion 12.14.07 at 1:16 pm
yun na nga, lady cess. nagtago pa ang bastos.
julie 12.14.07 at 2:26 pm
Ay ang sama! How’s the shoulder by the way?
Re kids in malls or supermarket, kakainis din those wearing shoes with wheels. At pati yung mga isinasakay sa loob ng shopping cart. For goodness sake, we put food in the shopping cart and they put their kids inside, shoes and all? Dapat bawal din yun. And I won’t mention those who leave their shopping carts unattended in the middle of the aisles like they own the place. Duh? Ay, sorry, nasabi ko.
Hay, patience, patience…
Jon Limjap 12.14.07 at 2:33 pm
Heh, whenever I run into a group of slow walking people hogging whole aisles, I just run through them thinking like a bowling ball hitting bowling pins.
Smirk all they want, the hell with them!
Unfortunately sometimes they’re not even teenagers anymore.
Connie Veneracion 12.14.07 at 2:42 pm
julie, AMEN AMEN!!! Add to that mga shoppers sa supermarket na nakaharang sa gitna, cart and all, dahil text nang text. My shoulder’s better although discolored.
Naku, Jon, don’t get me started on the old ones who can’t even respect queues. Kung maka-singit porke matanda na akala mo the world owes them.
pinayhekmi 12.14.07 at 2:43 pm
There are malls here in the U.S. who are now adopting a rule of no unchaperoned teens after 5 pm. unless they work at the mall. Link here. That’s just one example. I would also institute no loitering rules in the mall for unchaperoned teens, and no group of teens more than 3 together. Ageist? Tough.
Gloria 12.14.07 at 3:17 pm
naku salamat naman at meron na akong kakampi sa pagkainis sa magugulong youngsters in public, sa mall sa jeep, sa bus, etc. sa akin kasi eh hindi excuse yung dahil bata pa sila eh okay lang to misbehave especially in public. susme eh nung ako ang teenager hindi puede ang ganyang asal at kilos. sabi nga ng parents ko eh kung magulo ka sa sarili mong bahay, dapat pag nasa labas o sa ibang lugar ka, dapat behave ka naman.
hayy naku, yung ganyang brats…sino ba may kasalanan, kundi ang magulang na di marunong mag-sueto ng mga anak. kainis. naku sana pinaghiwa-hiwalay mo yung susi at isa isang inihulog sa bawat trash-can na dinaanan mo. buti nga sa kanila mga walang modo.
i hear you connie, i work hard to discipline my young son, dahil super hate ko yang ganyang klaseng mga teenagers na you described.
Connie Veneracion 12.14.07 at 4:24 pm
pinayhekmi, gosh you should see some of those groups here — they just go to the mall for the airconditioning. They occupy the best tables in cafes, sipping a cup of coffee for 2 hours (sometimes, 2 or more sharing a cup) and legit shoppers and customers have to wait in line.
Gloria, same here with my kids. Kahit nung maliliit pa, bawal mag-asal asshole. And I agree totally that age — whether youth or old age — should not be an excuse for anything. Kahit paslit — eh bakit eh may magulang sila na dapat responsible sa mga pinaggagagawa nila in public places. Problema dyan, mga magulang mismo masama ang asal.
angela 12.14.07 at 5:09 pm
I agree. Some parents out theere seem to think that just because they find their kids adorable means everyone should to.
Wrote about an experience I had with such a kid and his dimbulb parents Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber at, get this, the ultrasound area at the Medical City’s women’s center (http://jftesoro.bravejournal.com/entry/26859).
Hay, folks like that shouldn’t be allowed to breed
My daughter knows I’ll totally throttle her if she ever behaved like a hooligan especially in a public place.
Kongkong622 12.14.07 at 5:23 pm
Nope, you’re not being intolerant. Talaga namang nakakainis yung mga “unruly kids” in public places. At mas nakakainis ang mga magulang nila. Actually, I’ve said it many times, gusto ko silang sagasaan…ang sama pero ganun eh.
And don’t you just hate those brats who hang around the top and bottom of escalators…sarap itulak. I’ve actually made sutsot not a few kids who block the escalators. May mga nahawing na din ako…hello, hindi naman yun tambayan kaya!!
Hope you’re ok na. I don’t want to imagine how painful it was for you. But I can imagine the look you gave….tamang-tama siguro yung “If looks could kill…nailibing na siya kahapon”
Connie Veneracion 12.14.07 at 6:18 pm
Angela, I just read your entry. Kung ako yung tinamaan nun, nakatikim ng tongue lashing yung mga magulang. Kapal. Naku nakakagigil.
Kongkong, re “And don’t you just hate those brats who hang around the top and bottom of escalators…sarap itulak.”
In my experience, adults pa nga gumagawa nyan. Dun pa sa bukana ng escalator magdi-discuss kung saan sila pupunta o kung saan kakain. Punyeta talaga.
toni 12.14.07 at 7:07 pm
Uggggh nakakainis. One word nalang:
KARMA.
Connie Veneracion 12.14.07 at 7:15 pm
Karma nga, Toni. Halukayin nya yung basurahan.
Em Dy 12.14.07 at 10:22 pm
Akala ko at the end of the post, somebody would step forward and apologize (lalo na if they find out you’re a lawyer).
I hate teenagers too who use stairways as tambayan. There’s an internet cafe in Shang mall full of kids in the afternoons, most of them still in school uniform. They play games and shout all the time without concern for the others using the other PCs.
Connie Veneracion 12.14.07 at 10:28 pm
Em, alam mo kaya kahit kelan hindi ako na-enganyo sa internet cafe dahil sa ganyan. The very few times that I had to, naging halos useless. Hindi ka maka-focus dahil sa ingay at sa gulo.
Em Dy 12.14.07 at 11:19 pm
Connie, sometimes kasi I can’t wait to go home to blog. Addict ba?
mikel 12.14.07 at 11:33 pm
sure hope some of those keys were irreplaceable.
Connie Veneracion 12.15.07 at 12:01 am
mikel, i hope at least one of them is a car key BWAHAAHAHAHA
chris 12.15.07 at 3:19 pm
“Hay, folks like that shouldn’t be allowed to breed.”
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve said this…
It should apply to men who treat women (and other people) like shit, women who have no clue (and refuse to) how to behave maturely…etc etc. Imagine what they’ll pass on to their children, and so on…
bayi 12.15.07 at 8:50 pm
I am upset and angry for you. Where is the sense of responsibility of the young these days?
Gail 12.16.07 at 12:07 am
Hay nako. Nakakaasar talaga mga yan… Lalo na sa sine! Madalas napapaupo kami ni Marc sa harap ng mga teenagers na sobrang inconsiderate, ang ingay ingay habang movie. Kahit mag-shh ka ayaw parin tumahimik. Buhusan ko nga ng popcorn hehehe pasalamat sila popcorn lang at di orange juice! (actually, konte nalang kasi juice ko nun kaya yung popcorn nalang hehehe)
Rey 12.16.07 at 7:34 am
Connie, save mo sana yong key para makulam ko yong may ari,lagyan natin nang buntot para makaganti ka, kulam ang second job ko. he he he he
Connie Veneracion 12.16.07 at 10:33 am
Chris, it’s really funny how people talk about “improving the human race” when a child turns out better looking than the parents. But no one talks about better manners.
Bayi, you know, the sociological explanation for this really intrigues me. Is the the fast lifestyle that parents have no time to instill manners on their kids? Or parents have nothing to impart? And this isn’t even an economic issue. Rich or poor, the attitude is there.
Gail, ah yan, dapat bawal talaga sa sine groups of more than 4 sitting together. Bad trip, sobra.
Rey, turuan mo ako!!!! hahaha
chris 12.16.07 at 11:22 am
“Bayi, you know, the sociological explanation for this really intrigues me. Is the the fast lifestyle that parents have no time to instill manners on their kids? Or parents have nothing to impart? And this isn’t even an economic issue. Rich or poor, the attitude is there.”
I believe it goes deeper than that. I’ve seen both sides of the coin, having cousins who for some reason cannot find fault in their children and can’t find it in themselves to discipline them, as well as cousins (and friends) who take the time to learn, read up, and basically take it upon themselves to try and raise a child who has discipline, good good behaviour, and manners.
I notice as a general rule, that those who can’t and won’t raise their kids properly had either the same thing from their parents (who spoiled them, etc.) or else incredibly controlling ones. So it could swing one way or the other, but in either case, without moderation. They’re either too lax, or too controlling. There are those too who were mostly raised by “yaya’s” because their parents were working too much or weren’t present the majority of the time. Same deal…no offense to the yayas in this world, but how can you expect a teenage/20-something yaya to proxy for you? I believe you have an entry related to this.
I also notice that those who had parents who took the effort, time, and self control to raise them properly, are better equipped and more inclined to raise their children similarly.
I’m not saying this is a hard rule, but I do see the trend. I personally will want to raise my kids the way my parents raised me; to have responsibility, discipline, and respect, among many other important traits that take a whole childhood and young adulthood to instill.
Connie Veneracion 12.16.07 at 10:22 pm
Chris, being a parent has got to be the most challenging role in the world. It isn’t always easy deciding where discipline ends and dictatorship begins. Same thing with spoiling and being magnanimous. In a way, kids need both. Too much discipline and you get rebellious kids. Spoil them to death and they become brats. Balance, I think, is the answer. But then, of course, the right balance is not always easy to find.
AS for the yaya angle, yeah, no offense to the yayas out there (pero manigas kayo if you think you deserve to be called heroes), but even the most caring and conscientious yaya is no substitute for responsible, mature and emotionally well equipped parents.
elsie 12.17.07 at 12:06 am
just imagine kung sa head ng isang innocent baby or paslit yon tumama, cguro mas matindi pa sa explosion sa glorietta ang galit ng magulang nun…but can they file a complaint even if its an accident?especially when there is severe damage..
Connie Veneracion 12.17.07 at 2:41 pm
if the accident is the result of negligence, yes, there is a cause of action. and throwing a bunch of keys like that in a crowded mall is negligent. hay, naku, kung ako magulang ng batang tinamaan, i can argue it out na lintek ang babayaran na daños ng mga impakto na yan.
Mila 12.17.07 at 4:16 pm
No, you’re not intolerant. I hate the lack of discipline among kids and teenagers. They run around without any care for people around them. I’ve seen it with the kids of co-workers and I find it disgusting when they let their kids run amok. My mother always made us behave in public, if we tried running around during dinner parties, we’d be grounded for a week.
But it’s not just the kids, a couple of days ago in Unimart (hey Connie, you and I were in the same area suffering at the hands of strangers!), a lady just rammed her cart into my leg, skinning my ankle and heel. I had to tell her off before she even apologized. I mentally cursed her with fleas for life.
Connie Veneracion 12.17.07 at 6:24 pm
Mila, why, was she texting while pushing the cart? Naku, I encounter so many who do that in the supermarket. Sana, nagpa x-ray ka at pinagastos mo sya.
ApplesH 12.17.07 at 9:13 pm
Wow! I didn’t realize that there are quite a few who feel the same way I do about unruly kids in public places. I actually always pass by a street where there are kids loitering the streets and intentionally step in front of my car (kahit na super duper slow ako dun sa area na yon because of the kids) as if tempting you to move forward and hit them. Tapos yung mga bantay nila (whether yaya or parent) walang pake kasi nakikipagkwentuhan sa kapitbahay. Grrr talaga.
Connie Veneracion 12.19.07 at 3:18 am
ApplesH, re “as if tempting you to move forward and hit them”
Mga bata pa, nagpa-practice na maging extortionist.
Gloria 12.19.07 at 3:48 pm
i suffered a year of using the net cafe to blog. mahirap mag-bingi-bingi-han kapag maiingay ang ibang clients ng shop. most often school kids (high school at mga grade 5-6) na tipong sa iang PC unit eh lima yung nasa likuran ng naglalaro or something. i don’t do PC games or chat to cyber-bf’s, i use the internet to work. pero ang mga yan ang ka-kompetensya usually sa net cafes dito. kahit dami distraction dito sa house, di pa rin ako babalik sa net cafes.
kahit saang lugar eh common na yata these days magugulo na teeners on top of being loud. sabi ng iba kasi gatas ng baka (formula milks) na daw pinadede nung baby ang mga yan, kaya asal hayop na. i don’t totally agree, proper guidance and discipline from the parents ang kulang eh. i believe too na hindi substitute ang yaya sa parents. i grew up sa super strict to the point of controlling na father. pero i appreciated that when I went away to college and have to tend for myself. i am using the same way (but with major variations) to raise my son. properly put connie: kahit ano edad, bawal mag-asal asshole. he he.
we parents should make our homes more comfortable to our kids, that they’d rather choose your home to hang-out than do stupid things in public places or somewhere else. siguro yung tambay na kabataan sa mall eh house lang at hindi home ang meron kaya ayaw umuwi. it really all boil down to the parents, di ba?
susme, humaba na ito. ha ha ha. yun lang po.
Connie Veneracion 12.19.07 at 7:31 pm
Gloria, I only went to the internet cafe three times. It didn’t matter whether the cafe was located beside the market or in a posh mall — their habitues are the same. Puro magugulo at maiingay at malilikot. Ganun nga, mga high schoolers at upper grade schoolers.
Dexie 12.22.07 at 3:43 am
I think it also comes down to manners. If the kid who dropped that had any manners at all he/she wouldn’t be scared to claim it as he/she would know how to apologize profusely. Coz no matter how intolerant we are of stupidity, when a person offers a sincere apology I think it’ll somehow alleviate the anger and pain. Some kids these days just think that the world owes them which makes me wanna slap them from here ’till sundays. But then of course, that’s when parenting comes in handy..heh.
Connie Veneracion 12.23.07 at 12:09 am
Yep, Dexie, manners. Some parents need ‘em too. Which really boils down to: acquiring manners has nothing to do with age.
Art 12.26.07 at 10:57 am
Nabili mo naman siguro mga bagay na hinahanap mo :). Magkano na iphone?
Connie Veneracion 12.27.07 at 4:24 pm
Di pa, Art. 31K sa Greenhills yung brand new. Eh wala namang 12 mos/0 interest dun hehehehe